27 Apr 2020

BY: Online Therapy

Marriage Counselling / Online Counsellor / Online Therapy / Online Therapy Clinical Psychologist / Relationship Counselling

Comments: No Comments

Of Sound Mind to Marry

Do you know if you are of sound mind to marry?

Going through the motions of getting married isn’t nearly as challenging as getting to know each other on a deeper level before the ceremony, says Psychologist Jim Bierman. His book raises all the controversial, yet crucial issues for pre-weds. He guides engaged couples through an enlightening process of self-examination and us-examination, helping them gain a greater understanding of their partner, of the person they are becoming as part of a couple, and of the marriage, they are about to create.

Who will benefit from this book?

Written for pre-weds, their families, close friends, and the professionals who counsel them, this thought-provoking text explores thinking about-and talking about-delicate issues from love, communication, friendship, and sex, to in-law relations, money matters and prenuptial agreements, and the ways in which children will change a relationship. When couples meet the challenge of deeply understanding each other and what they expect out of marriage, their chances of enjoying a satisfied, intimate, and stable married life are greatly enhanced. By the end of this book, pre-weds will have grown from the altered state of being in love to being of sound mind to marry, says Bierman.

Talking about the realities of becoming a husband or wife


Of Sound Mind to Marry by Jim Bierman

One of the last things couples planning a wedding usually want to do is talk about the realities of becoming husband and wife. Most would rather discuss wedding cake flavors and honeymoon plans than their views on children and finances, their personal insecurities and potential struggles, says Bierman, adding that even counselors and clergy usually do not tread into the area of these issues that can be deep, upsetting, and disagreement-inspiring. But better that before marriage than afterwards.

What you can expect from this book

This book raises all the controversial yet crucial issues for pre-weds. And that will help couples wed with far more understanding of themselves and each other, with more foresight and sound thinking, so that they’ll not only be thrilled to be marrying the one they have chosen, but they’ll know that their decision is a wise one.

Followed by peer review:

“All couples prepare for their wedding but few for their marriage. For those couples who want to ensure their marriage endures, this book is an excellent and essential guide. I recommend it without reservation.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. author, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples)

Jim Bierman’s book is packed with enlightening and practical advice for any couple planning for marriage. He shows them how to deal directly with every important aspect of their relationship ahead of time and in a sensitive, loving way. I highly recommend it both to anyone planning to be married and to professionals who work with couples.” (Linda Adams President and CEO, Gordon Training International)

“Of Sound Mind to Marry offers a well-informed overview of the journey into marriage. Not just another book filled with advice, Bierman’s understanding of the psychological nuances of premarital and marriage relationships is presented in a clear and useful format. Add this one to your premarital reading list. A fresh treatment of the journey into marriage; Of Sound Mind to Marry is a sophisticated psychological look at forming a life-long relationship. Bierman is not afraid to tackle the difficult topics such as prenuptial agreements and deciding not to marry.” (Peter J. Larson, Ph.D. LP Vice President, Life Innovations, Inc.)

And full review by Richard Geller, Founder of CapitalCounselors.com and Clients4Therapists.com, 5.0 out of 5 stars The best manual for a couple hinking of getting married Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2008 “I haven’t seen anything quite like this before. In my work I have several hundred clients, most of whom do some pre-marital counseling. If couples just read this book, they wouldn’t need anything else. That’s how good the book is. A great deal of thought that someone should give to getting married is really in asking the right questions. And those questions are clearly spelled out.” So much of life should come with an owner’s manual, but doesn’t.

Jim’s book comes awfully close to being an owner’s manual for people who are thinking of marrying. I run a service that matches counselors and therapists with couples and individuals. So I was eager to read Jim’s book and hoping it would serve for many couples who may want to read rather than see someone, or want to supplement what their religious or secular counseling provides them. I haven’t seen anything quite like this before. In my work I have several hundred clients, most of whom do some pre-marital counseling. If couples just read this book, they wouldn’t need anything else. That’s how good the book is.

A great deal of thought that someone should give to getting married is really in asking the right questions. And those questions are clearly spelled out. The first few chapters talk about how we need to ask honest questions about how we feel about our partner — questions that are difficult to ask in the “altered state of being in love” as Jim puts it.

Then the book explores what most of us don’t know to ask and think about, with respect to children, and in-laws and a host of other issues that often cause problems in a marriage because we don’t expect them. The last part talks about specific issues and methods. This is worth the price of the book because a lot of problems can be avoided by good communication — and Jim distils wisdom of how to communicate in easy clear language and exercises that couples can learn.

I don’t expect anything will truly replace in-person counseling, but Jim’s book is almost as good. Buy a copy today for yourself or for a friend or family member who is going to get married.

You can order the book on Amazon by following this link.

Alternatively, you can get in contact with Jim to discuss ‘Of sound mind to marry’ by completing the form below.

06 Apr 2019

BY: Online Therapy

Clinical Psychologist / Clinical Psychology / Online Clinical Psychologist / Online therapist / Online Therapy / Online Therapy Clinical Psychologist

Comments: No Comments

Online Therapy welcomes Sara Taveira Clinical Psychologist

Online Therapy welcomes Sara Taveira Clinical Psychologist to our online family

Sara Taveira interviewed by Anna Keyter:

We are delighted to introduce Sara Taveira to our Online Therapy family,  and this is her story.  Sara is an independent clinical psychologist (Registered with the New Zealand Psychologist Board) joining our small group of therapists. Below is the interview with Sara to get to know her better.

How did you get into Clinical Psychology?

I started my University Degree initially wanting to become a forensic psychologist.  My dream was to be a “Criminal Profiler”. However, in the first years, I was introduced to the multitude of psychology fields and it was with clinical psychology that I connected the most.

I love life, people, smiles, a good laugh and positivity. Possibly, these are the things that motivated me to become a psychologist in the first place. That visceral curiosity about the other, the need to understand the person I am in a therapeutic relationship with, and help them if I can. With clinical psychology and psychotherapy, I can certainly do that.

Where did you do your training and how did you register at the New Zealand Psychologist board?

I completed my studies up to Masters level and psychologist certification in Lisbon, Portugal. In the European Union, the higher education is based on the “Bologna Process”, which in cooperation with all European countries, standardises higher education among all countries, thus strengthening quality assurance and facilitating the recognition of qualifications and periods of study. Therefore, the process to register at the New Zealand Psychologist Board (NZPB) was straightforward as they follow the guidelines from the UK as part of the Commonwealth of Nations.

What work did you do in New Zealand and internationally?

When I moved to New Zealand I started working for the District Health Board’s (DHB).  I attended to patients experiencing moderate to severe mental health disorders. I have worked in many different Hospital Services: Maternal Mental health; Children, adolescents and families services; Eating disorders Specialized Services; Parental intervention and group therapy for children with behavioural disorders Specialized Services and Mental Health Crisis Team.

I accepted a contract as a psychologist and psychotherapist with the ACC in 2015.  At the ACC, I provided services for Sensitive Claims, doing psychological assessments to determine mental injury from sexual abuse trauma.

In Portugal, I started my career as a university counsellor and providing psychological assessment services as a student. After completing my qualification, I gained experience in psychiatric hospitals, schools, private practice and psychosocial projects for children and adolescents with risk-taking behaviours, their families and the school community as a clinical psychologist.

What key functions will you bring to Online Therapy?

As a clinical psychologist, I am hoping to bring a new intervention approach – psychotherapy – to those who are not able to attend on-site consultations.  If you are unable to get to an office, you can contact me online.  The online space is where I can offer assistance for people physical problems and disability, illness, mobility, geographic area, language, difficulty in reconciling schedules and unable to get to an office.

Psychotherapy addresses overall patterns, including chronic or recurring problems in a person’s life, and focuses on feelings and experience. It is an in-depth therapy modality on internal thoughts and feelings and core issues. The main objective is to achieve personal growth and to gain insight into the main areas of a person’s life.

During my 12 years of experience, I have gained qualifications in different specific psychotherapy modalities which could benefit Online Therapy clients.  These qualifications include EMDR, CBT, Mindfulness, ACT, CRT, CBT-E and FBT, evidence-based protocols for PTSD and complex trauma.

I consider myself an eclectic psychologist, focused on adapting the intervention to each person. I don’t follow the trend of labelling with diagnostics and jargon but aim to understand each unique person I am working with, and then adapt working tools accordingly. Over the years of clinical practice, I have found that working with emotions is central to all processes when dealing with transformation and personal growth, which is the focal point in my therapy room.

Why were you brought on board and what is your specialist areas?

I have started my relationship with Online Therapy over a year ago, fuelled by my interest in telepsychology and helping patients who cannot attend face to face therapy.  I am also keen to maintain my bilingual psychotherapy skills. As an eclectic psychologist, I have gained experience and interest over the years in conditions such as anxiety and stress, depression, eating disorders, trauma, relationships, feelings of emptiness, emotional difficulties, life changes adaptation difficulties, parental coaching and personal growth/coaching.

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

I will start by saying that I may share DNA with cats since I love sunbathing. Food is another great passion as, in my culture, it means family reunion and connection. I get immense bliss when cooking for loved ones and putting smiles on their faces.

Motherhood has been, without a doubt, the joy of all joys and a highway to happy moments, personal growth and constant self-reflection.

Music provides the background soundtrack to my life. It allows me to personify emotions, it helps me to express myself and enables me to relate to others as well. My most recent personal goal is to learn how to play the guitar so that I can sing and play with my child.

A good conversation undeniably makes my day and time fly.  What else… well, I am a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a colleague, a neighbour, a society member, a citizen of the world….

 

 

Contact Sara Now

Side bar